A Slight Alteration of WindWaker
by magukarogu
Summary: Okay well it BASICALLY follows the storyline of windwaker...with some slight twists, I'd say. Anyways, I think it's funny. Review and tell me if you think so too. Or if you don't Then you should get mad at me for putting it under the 'humor' catagory.
1. Chapter 1

'Hoy! Brother!' A tiny blonde girl bellowed as she scanned the horizon with her trusty telescope.

She ran along the shoreline of beautiful little Outset Island, and finally came to a dock. She ran down the dock and climbed a ladder, which lead to a lookout tower. As she suspected, Aryll found her brother snoring away at the top of the ladder.

'Wake up, brother!' Aryll suggested.

The young boy stretched and yawned. He then looked over to where his sister's voice was coming from. What? No Aryll?

'Fooled you!' Aryll laughed.

The boy blinked and got up, then stretched some more.

'Do you remember what day it is?' Aryll giggled.

The boy blinked again.

'It's your BIRTHDAY!' Aryll exclaimed!

The young boy's eyes popped open at the exact moment his sister said 'birthday'. He also made a slight 'huh?' sound.

'Hey brother! Guess what! Grandma's waiting for you at the HOUSE!' Aryll said and pointed to all of the houses.

'Okay.' The boy replied.

'Maybe you should talk to some people on the way, Thomas, they probably want to say happy birthday!' She patted him on the back and pushed him down the ladder.

Thomas landed with a thud on the dock, and shook his head. _Right. _He thought. _Grandma. House. _

He walked down the dock with some difficulty, nearly walking right off numerous times. Finally, he got to land. He knelt down and kissed the ground a few times, and then began walking around.

'Hey Thomas! Happy birthday!' A man standing in the center of a field of grass said. 'I wish you'd cut my lawn for me, though.'

'Sorry sir, I'm off to visit my grandmother.' Thomas shook his head.

'Oh I see.' The man said disappointedly. 'But, do you know why you live with your grandmother and not your parents?'

'Why of course, sir. My parents died in a car accident. And all I have left of them is this scar.' Thomas lifted his shaggy blonde hair to reveal a lightning bolt on his forehead.

'Oh right!' The man smacked his forehead. 'Leave it to me to forget a thing like that!'

'That's alright, sir. Have a good one!' Thomas patted his hair back down and continued to walk along the beach.

But oh no! Another dock! Thomas surely couldn't make it all the way! Good thing a little jumping kid with a stick stopped him.

'Hewo, Thomas!' The little boy said, only he pronounced Thomas like any one would if they didn't really know how to pronounce it (meaning the 'Th' part).

'Why, hello sir.'

'Thomas, I wish so bad I could jump over to that rock and get those rupees. Can you get them for me?' The little kid said.

'Sure thing.' Thomas jumped to the first rock, and got a blue rupee. He jumped to the second rock, and got another blue rupee. Then, the third rock. This was going to be tricky. He adjusted his view so he would hit the rock head on, and ran for it. Thomas landed safely on top of a yellow rupee.

'Wow Thomas! You're great!' The little kid bounced around.  
Thomas swelled with pride, and then made his way back to the dock. Sadly, he fell off the rock. _Oh well. _He thought. _I'll just swim to shore._

'Thomas! My rupees!' The little boy wailed.

But Thomas didn't hear him. He continued swimming, and came to a crouching man in the grass.

'Hey Thomas.' The man whispered.

'Hello, sir. What are you doing?' Thomas cocked his head to one side.

'Nothing, Thomas! I'm doing nothing!' The man said in a very loud voice.

Thomas raised one eyebrow.

'Okay.' The man whispered. 'I'm trying to catch that black pig for my wife. But keep it on the down low! Everyone knows pig hunting is illegal when there's a limited population on Outset!'

Thomas nodded in agreement and anxiously crouched down beside the man. 'Where's the pig?' He asked.

'Well, he's in the grass.' The man said and inched a bit closer to the grass. 'Now listen. Don't worry if you can't see the pig. They're pretty good with magic, so usually there'll be an arrow floating above their head.'

Thomas was quite a clever boy, and instantly he knew how to catch the pig. He crawled up behind it, jumped up at the exact right moment, grabbed the pig and flipped it upside down onto his head.

The man in the grass gave him two thumbs up and Thomas grinned uncontrollably. He marched down the road, and suddenly, a voice startled him.

'Hoy! Thomas! What are you doing with that pig!'

Thomas instantly dropped the pig and it ran away squealing. 'What pig?' He said.

'Oh never mind. I thought you were holding a pig!' The voice was coming from a two-story building to Thomas's left.

'No sir!' Thomas said.

'Why don't you come talk to me?' It was an old man, on the deck of the top floor. He had an unusually large head and no hair to cover it.

Thomas hesitated. 'Okay, I'll be right up!' He took one glance at the ladder, and then slyly sneaked into the door of the bottom floor. Ignoring the cries from the old man, he slammed the door behind him and chuckled to himself.

'Urgh!' A second old man was throwing himself against what appeared to be a large injured whale.

Thomas stared in disbelief. Every one knew whale hunting was a serious felony.

'Yagh!' The man continued to mercilessly body slam the whale.

'…Sir?' Thomas said in a quiet voice. 'Is that…a whale?'

'Uh?' The man spun around, and revealing an aged face and grey beard. 'Oh, no.' He said. 'That's a hide-a-bed.'

'Ohhh.' Thomas said. 'Because it really looks like a cut up whale or something.'

'I know.' The old man said. 'Clever design, right? My granddaughter made it for me.'

'Yeah, it's…nice…' Thomas said. 'Why are you doing that?'

'It's just hard to get open, that's all.' The man said. 'My name is Orca.'

Thomas shook Orca's hand and introduced himself. 'Have you always lived here, sir?'

'No. Have you?' Orca folded his arms.

'Yes.' Thomas replied.

Just then, the whale look alike sprang open to reveal a cozy looking pink sheeted bed. It hit the ground with such force one of the floorboards cracked, and almost everything fell off the walls.

'Ah!' Orca sighed. 'Finally!'

'RAHHHHHHH!' A tiny voice and ferocious banging came from the ceiling. 'You moron! You hooligan! You've knocked _everything_ off my shelves! _Again_!'

'That's my brother.' Orca said and sat down on his bed.

'Oh.' Thomas said.

'Yeah. He followed me here.' He pulled off his socks and slippers, and crawled in between the pink sheets. 'Do you mind?'

'Oh!' Thomas said and backed towards the door. 'Certainly, sir.' He turned around and exited.

Stealthily he tip-toed past the ladder and spotted a pig. This wasn't the same pig, but nonetheless, it was a pig. He repeated the process of pig-capturing, and was soon cheerfully carrying a pig on his head.

A loud crash came from behind him. A girl who had been carrying a pot on her head was staring, shocked, pointing at Thomas. Broken bits of the pot were scattered all over the ground.

'P-P-Pig…' She stammered.

Thomas gasped and tried to hide the pig behind his back. No such luck.

'SOMEBODY!' The girl screamed. 'PLEASE! HE'S GOT A PIG!'

Thomas tried to hush the girl, but she backed away and continued screaming. Suddenly, the piercing sound of sirens was heard. Two giant white kites were slowly floating down from the clouds. There appeared to be a large brown cross on each of the kites.

_Oh, shit. _Thomas thought. He threw the pig into the air and made a run for it. Luckily, his grandmother's house was right next to him. He ran inside and bolted the door behind him.

'Thomas, dear?' A wrinkled old woman was sitting in a lawn chair beside a roaring fireplace. 'Is that you?'

'Yes grandma!' Thomas walked over to his grandmother, as sweat began to drip from his forehead.

'Thomas, dear, I have a gift for you.' She held out what appeared to be a folded green suit.

'Oh!' Thomas took the suit without even glancing at it. 'It's great, thanks.' He said and peeked through the blinds.

The kites had landed, and one at a time, six furry figures piled off of them. They walked up to the shaking girl, and one of them produced what appeared to be a badge from his fuzzy brown covering. The girl said nothing, but just pointed towards Thomas' house.

Thomas began panicking. He looked around for a place to hide, and his eyes strayed to the green cloth in his hands. 'Grandma, I'm going to go put this on!' He said and hurriedly climbed the ladder which led to the loft.

'Alright, dear. Tell me how it fits.' His grandmother said.

He swiftly switched outfits, just as there was a heavy knocking on the door.

'I wonder who that could be?' Thomas' grandma said.

'Let me get it!' He slid down the ladder and stuffed his crawfish shirt and brown pants into a nearby flowerpot.

'Your hat!' His grandmother waddled over and handed him a elfish looking hat.

The knocking grew louder. Muffled voices could be heard, and the door handle began rattling.

Thomas pulled the hat over his head and pushed his hair way down over his eyes. He unbolted the door and stared up at the furry creatures.

'Can I help you?' He put on a very deep voice.

'Yes.' One of the creatures said in an even deeper voice. He held out his badge, which said B.C.C.A.A.P in bold brown letters. In the center was what appeared to be a silver sheriff's star.

Thomas looked up at the thing, puzzled.

'What!' He tucked away the badge and glared at Thomas with barley visible eyes. He parted the fur in front of his face, and it became apparent that he was in fact a man. 'Is it the fuzz?' He snapped.

'Well…' Thomas admitted.

'Tell him what happened, _Marcus_.' The man nodded to another one of the people dressed in fur.

'Well, see…' The second man whimpered. 'I…I left our uniforms in the dryer for too long…' He turned red and looked away.

'That's right you did!' The first man sharply smacked the side of the second man's head.

Thomas stared in disbelief.

'Anyways.' The first man said as the second man began to sob softly. 'They call me Keel. That's _mister _keel to you, young man.'

Thomas nodded up at the furry suited men.

'A pig-snatching was reported.' Keel said.

Thomas faked a shocked expression.

'That's right. And the culprit was seen heading directly into…' Keel paused, and pointed stiffly through the door of Thomas' house. '…This building.'

Thomas shrugged and shook his head. 'No one's in here but me and my grandmother.'

'Oh.' Keel said. 'I'm sorry…there must have been some sort of mistake….' He seemed very embarrassed. Following Keel's lead, they all marched back over to their kites. One of them turned around and waved at Thomas. Thomas waved back and the man received a smack on the head from Keel.

_That was way too close. _Thomas bolted the door shut again. _I'm going to have to go into hiding!_


	2. Chapter 2

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**THANK YOU FOR THE TWO REVIEWS…I'm glad you thought it was funny**

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'Why would I have a freaking sword!' Orca stared down at Thomas with cold eyes.

'Oh…' Thomas said. 'Well, it's just, everyone seems to think you have one…'

'Well, I don't.' Orca said bluntly. 'Get out.'

Thomas sighed, hung his head, and left the building. He had decided to run away from Outset, now that he was known as a criminal. He needed a weapon, though. He asked everyone on the island if they knew where to find a sword, and everyone said that Orca had one. Thomas sighed. _I guess I have to stay here_. He thought.

Suddenly, a winged sword zipped through the air and buried itself in the sand at Thomas' feet. Thomas stared up, and saw the old man waving at him from his balcony. He turned his gaze back to the sword, and reached out for it.

_I cant reach it!_ He panicked and took a step closer. He then grabbed the sword and held it above his head for all to see. Suddenly, a strange melody could be heard above all else. Thomas looked at his new sword in disbelief, and tried it again. Yep, the sound played again. He whipped out his guitar tuner and identified the notes as E, F, F#, and G.  
_Knowing the notes is bound to help me some time or another. _He thought to himself. He threw his sword over his shoulder, and felt lucky for the two facts that the sword was magnetic and that two years ago he had a metal spine implant.

Out of nowhere, a small plump kid came running straight for Thomas. He jumped out of the way, but the kid swiftly changed directions and ran for him again. But this time, something was coming out of his nose…

_Sick! _Thomas thought.

The chase continued for some time, until Thomas was backed up against Orca's house. The kid saw his chance, and grinned evilly. Thomas had no other choice but to climb the ladder. The little boy was left jumping and clawing at the building. Thomas stuck out his tongue and the kid bared his teeth.

'Hello Thomas!' The bald man was still sitting on his patio, reading what appeared to be a phone book.

'Oh…um, hello, sir.' Thomas stammered.

'That's quite a nice outfit.' The man said.

'Why are you reading the phone book?' Thomas asked.

The man jumped at this remark. 'What phone book…' he shut the book and sat on top of it.

Thomas gasped. 'Did you steal that phone book?'

The man's face turned beet red. 'No!' He stood up and ran inside his house.

Thomas shook his head in disbelief. _Some people's kids._

He turned to go back down the ladder, and suddenly the snot-nosed kid came running from no where again.

_Oh great._

As if on cue, the sword's wings started flapping, and carried Thomas to the safety of his roof.

'Thank you for boarding.' A voice said.

'What?' Thomas asked. But, there was no reply.

Thomas shrugged, and jumped off the roof. As he had expected, his winged sword saved him from crashing to his death.

'That way!' He commanded his wings and pointed out to the ocean.

His wings obeyed, and soon, he could only make out shapes of the houses on outset. _Oh no! _He thought. _I forgot to say bye to grandma and Aryll! _

He turned around, and there it was. A white dot was barely visible on the veranda of Thomas' house. 'Grandma!' He said. He waved with both arms but grandma just went back into the house.

Just then, a loud gong noise was ringing in Thomas' ears. He looked down, and realized he was flying over a large ship. There were people running to and fro, and an especially little one frantically cleaning the deck.

'SWEEP! SWEEP!' Another person was yelling.

Thomas shook his head. It was obvious it was a mop, not a broom. He looked up, but it was too late. Thomas flew head on into the mast of the ship. Down he fell, hitting various ropes and poles on his way.

'Ohhh…' He groaned and rubbed his side.

The people gathered around him, scratching their heads. One of them kicked Thomas' leg. 'Is it alive?'

Thomas blinked.

'No.' A big burly guy said. 'It looks dead.'

Thomas sat up. 'Who are you?' He asked as he rubbed his side some more.

'I believe it makes more sense for us to know who _you _are. I mean, you are on our boat.' A surprisingly young girl cocked her head to the side.

'Yah,' Thomas said and pointed at her. 'But I asked you first.'

'We're pirates.' The girl said and blew a strand of yellow hair out of her face.

'I'm Thomas. And this is my winged sword.' He pulled the sword off of his back.

The pirates gasped and looked away. One of the sword's wings was broken! Thomas began to cry. He had gotten very attached to the sword over the short period that they knew eachother.

'Can you fix it?' He sobbed.

'Well that depends.' One of the pirates pondered. 'Does it have a name?'

'No…' Thomas wiped away his tears.

'Damnit!' The pirate said. 'Well, we can't do much if he doesn't have a name.'

'Umm…okay.' Thomas said. 'Any ideas?'

The pirates looked around. And shrugged. Then, one of them shouted. 'BEACH!' as he pointed to the ocean.

'That's a stupid name.' Another one said.

They sat in silence for a while, when finally the girl pirate spoke up. 'Monty!'

'Good idea!' They said in unison.

So it was settled. The winged sword was from now on, Monty.

'Can you please fix his wing?' Thomas begged.

They gasped again.

'What?' Thomas asked. 'What's wrong!'

'Its quite clear that you have a female sword.' One of glared at Thomas.

'Oh.' Thomas stared at his sword. 'Okay, can you fix her wing?'

'Yes.' The blonde pirate said. She picked up Monty the winged sword and carried her across the deck. 'I'll only be a minute.' She said, and disappeared into a door.

Thomas sighed and sat with his back against the mast. 'Boy,' He said. 'I sure hope she's okay.'

'Don't worry.' A pirate assured him. 'Ms. Tetra deals with wings all the time.'

'No she doesn't.' Another pirate piped up.

Just then, Tetra came back out with Monty in her arms.

The rest of the group stood up eagerly.

'Well?' Thomas said.

'After a careful examination, the problem became clear.' Tetra explained. 'Monty has a broken wing.'

They gasped.

'But how?' Thomas asked.

'It probably happened when you hit the mast.' A pirate said thoughtfully.

They all nodded in agreement.

'But!' Tetra silenced them. 'There is only one way to fix a wing like this. We must sail to the forsaken fortress and throw it at the wall! Along with her owner, of course.'

'Why do I have to go too?' Thomas whimpered.

'Would _you_ like to be thrown against a wall _alone_?' Tetra snapped.

Murmurs of agreement came from the pirates.

Thomas said nothing.

'Well, it will take a bit of time to get there, so why don't you go to sleep while we wait.' Tetra suggested. 'You!' She pointed to one of the pirates.

'Yes?' He walked up to her.

'Show him his room' She commanded.

The pirate obeyed, and led Thomas to a comfy hammock deep within the ship.

Thomas sat on his bed and looked around the room. It was similar to a cardboard box. He shrugged, and laid down on his hammock.


End file.
